


limbo

by kitty_pryde_bi_pride



Series: Post Promised Day AU [2]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Angst, Gen, Introspection, Ishbal | Ishval, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:39:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26252785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitty_pryde_bi_pride/pseuds/kitty_pryde_bi_pride
Summary: an uncertain period of awaiting a decision or resolution; an intermediate state or condition
Relationships: Edward Elric & Catherine Elle Armstrong
Series: Post Promised Day AU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1846432
Comments: 13
Kudos: 21





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this immediately follows after the first part of this series- might be good to check out Stagnation before you read this

Ed’s journey starts the way many do: a ticket, a bag, and a destination. 

He’d blown most of the money he’d taken from his stash on his usual train compartment, a private one with a lock, and was saving the rest of it to try and get shelter wherever he ended up- he couldn’t use his alchemy as payment like he’d once done.

His bag was a duffle at best, just enough to fit a few changes of clothes, a metal water bottle Al had transfigured for him – the first one he’d done with his new body, he’d put a protruding gargoyle design on the side of it in honor of Ed’s own personal flair – and a few boxes of granola bars to tide him over. He’s got the clothes on his back, of course, and he’d managed to throw on his favorite bright red coat before he left. He hadn’t been able to justify taking anything else from Alphonse, in the end, but he thinks he has enough to make it on his own.

He supposes he can’t quite claim a destination, to be fair – he doesn’t know where he was going, just away from his brother who hated him and the memories of a war he was forced to fight when he was just a child, he still is just a kid even though he’ll never admit it aloud – but two out of three isn’t bad. 

He hadn’t really been paying attention when he bought a ticket. The first and cheapest ones available had been heading southeast from Central, on a route that would miss Resembool by a bit and take them instead close to the border. Ed knows the reason why they were so easy to get: the train is going straight to what’s left of Ishval, something most Amestrians would be desperate to avoid; if only to prevent themselves from confronting the leftover pain of wars they were trying to repress.

Ed himself has spent months trying to forget it all, has spent years watching the memories of that the Ishvalan Civil War – a genocide, though he’s never spoken the words aloud – haunt Mustang, Hawkeye, Armstrong, every soldier who was old enough to serve. 

If he closes his eyes and lays his head back on the seat, if he takes a deep breath and focuses in on the ambient noise of the train and its passengers, he can almost pretend like this was a regular train ride, a frequent enough occurrence for him and Al. 

The firm seats are a faded red color, with covers over them to prevent continued damage from the wear-and-tear of use, and his compartment is big enough to fit himself and a suit of armor- the same one he always used to get. It smells like shoes and the coffee from the small dining space a ways down the hall, and it’s funny how these small things that seemed so inconvenient just months before suddenly ache of familiarity. 

He could pretend like it was just another trip out of dozens, of hundreds that he and his brother had been forced to go on due to his status within the military- something he’d turned his back on he was realizing with a pit in his stomach: he’d left behind everything he’d ever known because he knew no one in his life could’ve really cared about him. It hurt, because he cared about them so much it hurt to breath, but he got it- he doesn’t think he deserves their compassion after all the mistakes he’s made.

Even so, this was the first time he’d been alone in a very, very long time- possibly ever.

He and Al had been together through thick and thin, joined at the hip since they were babies and Ed would stay up when his little brother had trouble sleeping. They’d been apart before- they had been separated up by the Northern border, for a few months, but they’d still had people around them: Ed himself had spent his time with Greedling, working to stop the Promised Day.

And now his work was done and he didn’t have anyone left because he’d left them behind, just like his dad had once done to him and Al.

He’d given everything he had to their cause, to their happiness, and he couldn’t even blame for them for casting him aside: he’d make all the same choices again, if given the chance.

But just because they didn’t want him anymore didn’t mean he was alright on his own- he needed them, had needed someone, had been searching for someone to love him and put him first ever since his mother died and his father left, but no one ever had.

It didn’t matter now- that just wasn’t the way things had worked out for him.

There was no turning back for him – he’d decided he wouldn’t be a burden on his loved ones anymore, he wouldn’t force himself into their lives another minute if he could help it – but he felt lost on his own. 

Most of his life had been dedicated to some big objective: learning alchemy to save their mother, attaching automail so he could join the military, researching while carrying out missions to restore Alphonse, saving the world from Father’s plan, rehabilitating his brother after the fact.

How could he be expected to find something for himself after all that? He was left alone with his thoughts, and he knew better than anyone that his thoughts were rarely kind.

Al’s words from the night before echoed in his ears, even now: calling him a military dog, a worrier. Useless.

It wasn’t anything he hadn’t thought about himself before, but somehow it still stung all the more from someone else. He’d never expected words like that from his brother, the one who’d been through hell with him and knew him better than anything, and he had no defense against it.

Ed was the one who’d suggested human transmutation and pushed his little brother – just barely pushing nine years old at the time, he was the older sibling and should’ve known better – into it; Ed was the one who’d decided to join the military and associate himself with murderers and tyrants; Ed was the one who hadn’t been able to let go and move on once he’d saved his brother.

Alphonse had always been Ed’s mark of moral righteousness, his cornerstone as he fell deeper into learning about the Philosopher’s Stones, Homunculi, human sacrifice, and now there was no way he could deny the truth: his own brother had condemned him and he just had to accept that now.

He’d told his brother that he was going to be seeking out the Truth, but he feared he already knew it: there was no place for him in a post-war world.

And there was really no way to argue with that, after all- he was no politician like Mustang, not a loyal soldier like Hawkeye; he was too flighty to settle down with Winry and too brash to be a student like Al. He had joined the military when he was only twelve and had been raised in a battlefield from the minute he first met Truth, and there was no going back from that.

The cold, unyielding plastic cover of the seat behind him – so very familiar in sensation, so very different in circumstance – was hard against his head, his back, and he could feel his breath start to quicken.

His eyes were starting to well up with tears and he bit his lip angrily, daring them to try and come out- he was sixteen, he was far too old to cry over his life. But who was he even pretending for anymore- who was there left to be brave for, to put on a show of strength for?

Sometimes, down in the deepest, darkest part of himself, he wished he could do human transmutation one last time and let Truth finish the job—

“Hello there, cutie! Is there anyone sitting here?” 

Ed snapped to attention with a start, sitting up straight on his bench and taking in the newcomer. She’s small, petite, likely about the same height as himself – and no, that was not an admittance that he himself was short! – with big blue eyes and long blonde hair. She hasn’t moved from her spot in the doorway and is still smiling innocently at him, but she’s also hefting two giant looking suitcases in her arms. Ed’s reasonably impressed- he thinks he’d be hard-pressed to lift both of them himself.

So much for splurging on locked doors.

She’s still waiting for a response and Ed swallows hard, pushing down whatever that weird show of emotion had been- he might’ve let it play out if he’d stayed alone, but he won’t accept it in front of an audience, especially not a stranger.

“I’m not cute,” Ed snarls, glaring up at her before remembering himself. “And, uh- this is a private cart, sorry Miss,” Ed mumbles, his throat still thick. 

Her grin becomes impossibly brighter and she steps inside like she hadn’t heard him. “Perfect! That means there’ll be plenty of space for one more.” She easily lifts both suitcases into the overhead compartments and Ed flinches when he hears them creak. When he doesn’t respond, she glances back down at him quizzically. “Unless, of course, there’s anyone else riding with you?”

Unfortunately, it’s pretty clear that there is in fact no one else joining Ed, and he’s no liar regardless- he shakes his head quietly.

“Outstanding- you may call me Cat, by the way.” She holds her hand out expectantly, and he slowly reaches out to shake it. “It’s lovely to meet you.”

This is all a bit overwhelming. Ed hadn’t expected to get to speak to anyone until after he’d gotten off the train, going nowhere fast, and he still feels more than a little raw to be having a good conversation.

“It’s nice to meet you as well,” he says as politely as he can- you can take the boy out of the small town, but you can’t take the small town out of the boy. Granny would’ve boxed his ears in if she’d heard him ignoring a young lady seeking out company like this. “I’m Edward-”

“-Elric, I know,” she answers, laughing. He freezes and stares at her – they couldn’t have found him this quickly, before he’d even gotten the chance to really take off – but she waves him off easily. “You’re pretty famous, you know? And you’ve still got your red coat and long hair- even if my older brother hadn’t talked about you incessantly, I’d recognize the calling cards of the Fullmetal Alchemist.”

He frowns at her distrustfully nonetheless. “Your older brother?”

She just keeps smiling at him, entirely unbothered. “I believe you two had met, at some point or another- he served in the military, you know. He’s a big guy, but a huge softie- Alex always thought it was so heartbreaking that you’d joined up so young.”

Ed’s not sure who she’s talking about – even with the military men he knew, he’d always addressed them by their ranks and last names, so he hadn’t felt the need to learn most of their first names – but he laughs regardless. “Him and half the country, it feels like. Didn’t stop them from letting it happen or using me to fix their problems.”

“Yes, well, I never claimed he was perfect- him joining in the first place was proof enough of that.” She sighs and adjusts the collar of her fuzzy pink coat. “So, Edward Elric. Where are you headed off to?”

“Ah,” he stiffens and looks down uncomfortably. “I- uh, I don’t really have a destination. Wherever the train takes me, I suppose.”

She studies him closely – he doesn’t know who she is, but he highly doubts she’s an everyday civilian – then leans back and folds her hands neatly in her lap. “I’ve found that sometimes the destination is in the journey itself.”

He glances back up at her and smiles tentatively when he sees that her own megawatt grin has dimmed into something kinder, more understanding. “I think I like the idea of that.”

She reaches out and grabs his hand – the flesh one, not the automail – out of his lap. “I do too, sweetie. As it happens, I don’t quite have a specific place in mind either- would you be willing to accommodate a traveling partner such as myself? I’ve found a big part of the journey is the company, as well.”

“You’d want to travel with me?” He scoffs, eyes wide.

“Why not?” she answers. “You seem like good company and I’ve been looking for a change of pace for a while- I could do a lot worse than the People’s Alchemist, even if you barely look like you’ve hit puberty.”

Ed jumps up and yanks his hand away, fuming. “I don’t know who the hell you think you are, Cat or whatever your face is, but you better not be talking about me when you call someone so tiny that they could fit in a teacup!”

She snorts, breaking the ladylike façade she’d so flawlessly maintained, and easily pushes him down in his seat, patting him on the head. “Oh, we’re going to get along just fine, Edward Elric.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *looks at last day this was updated vs. today* whoops!
> 
> next chapter should actually be out soon

“I swear to Truth, if you pat the top of my head _one more time_ , you’re going to lose a hand!” Ed screeches, panting with rage.

Cat just grins back at him- he doesn’t know how he ever could’ve thought of her as innocent. “Oh my,” she says, sweet as can be. He is not falling for it. “Feel better now?”

He hisses at her and she coos. “Do NOT presume to know me!”

“It’s really quite impressive how much anger can be stored in-”

“-DON’T TEST ME CAT, I SWEAR-”

“-such a small container.”

“WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THEY CAN’T DEFEND THEMSELVES!” He rears up, holding up his fists and leaping in front of her, but she just laughs and pushes him down. He lands head-first on the ground, then pops back up, shaking sand out of his hair- there’s no way he’s getting it all without at least one long shower.

He seethes quietly – he’s already learned he can’t beat her in a fight, not hand to hand – while she scans their surroundings. “Alright, Edward Elric, where do you think we are?”

He scoffs up at her and crosses his arms. “How should I know? You’re the one who said we should jump out of the train early because the sun looked pretty.”

“And so it does.” She extends her palm out dreamily, letting it warm her, before turning back to him. “I stand by that. However, I believe you’re significantly more well-traveled than me, as I’ve never quite left Central before now. I was hoping you’d have some level of travel expertise, or at least a way to make us shelter.”

Ed sighs, dropping his bag into the sand surrounding them, then follows it down himself. “Unfortunately, I used my alchemy for all that, and I’m not much of an alchemist these days. All my usefulness was shot the minute I made a trade with Truth.”

She frowns at him. “My brother is an alchemist, and even that was too abstract for me to follow. I don’t think I’ve ever heard him mention Truth in his metaphorical ramblings?”

“Yeah, well, I’m a different class of alchemist than Major Armstrong,” Ed says, not without a sense of pride. It only lasts a second before he deflates again, running his hand through the sand and letting the grains fall through his fingers. “Or was, at least.”

Catherine snorts and yanks him to his feet, then picks up his suitcase and starts walking in a random direction. “My impression was once an alchemist, always an alchemist. Or did that deal scramble your brains?”

“I still know how to be an alchemist,” he retorts. “There’s just not a lot of use for it now. It’s like… It’s like my friend, Winry, you know? She’s a genius with automail and machinery, but if you took away her hands, all of that skill would go to waste. I have all the knowledge and skill, but none of the ability.”

“That’s selling your friend a little short, isn’t it?” She asks thoughtfully.

“How so?”

“There’s a couple of things- first off, I bet she could get new hands with automail.” Ed moves to interject, but Catherine starts moving faster, forcing him to jog to keep pace. “I know automail decreases fine motor control, but if she’s really a genius, I bet she could figure out a solution. And moreover- she doesn’t have to stay a mechanic. She could teach others, she could research better techniques for others- hell, she could find a new passion altogether. Point is? Her life wouldn’t be over. I don’t get why you’re letting this sidetrack you so badly, I expected more-”

Ed finally catches up with her and turns to glare, mouth twisted in an ugly grimace. “I can’t do any of that, okay? I can’t! You shouldn’t expect more from me-”

“Well, why not?” She fires back.

His breath is speeding up and he wants to think it’s because of his slow run, even though he knows he’s still too in shape for it to affect him this bad. “Be- Because you shouldn’t! I- I don’t have another way to practice, there’s no way to make up for the handicap. And I haven’t been interested in research beyond what’s essential to restore Al’s body since, since my mom died! And I don’t have another passion, alright? I tried so hard to move on, after I lost everything, but all I did was burden people- they would’ve all grown to hate me, I know they would’ve, just like my brother-”

He stops when she drops all their bags to pull him into a close hug, so tight he almost can’t breathe- it’s comforting in how secure she feels. His voice cuts off immediately and he’s left with his panicked breathing and something in his eyes feels wet and it’s so, so embarrassing—

“I’m sorry for poking at you, Ed. I know things aren’t always as easy as they seem, and I shouldn’t assume.” She pets his hair while he calms, going mostly limp, leaning on her for support. “Was there ever a time you loved alchemy?”

He looks up at her, shining eyes wide at her soft smile, and his voice wobbles when he speaks. He’s never felt his too-young age more. “When Al and I were kids, we used to stay up late to read my dad’s books. He wasn’t around a lot. I- I remember our mom would come in and be so concerned over how late we were up, but then we’d show her what we made and she would be so, so proud of us.” He sniffles and steps back, smiling a little at the memory- he hasn’t thought about this in ages. “I made her a bird, once, and she put it up in our kitchen.”

Catherine grabs the rest of their bags and starts them walking again, trying to find someplace to stay before the approaching sunset. “That sounds really nice. Do you want to hear about the time I beat my brother in an arm-wrestling match?”

His eyes light up and she bursts out laughing- the rest of their walk is spent reminiscing over a time when their talents weren’t valued as commodities, and they were just kids exploring a hobby. It’s bittersweet, remembering how he once viewed alchemy as more than a battle strategy, but it’s also nice to think back to his childhood focus on being innovative and creative with it.

They’ve been walking for hours and the cold’s set in when they finally see structures on the horizon, signs of life. They both start running towards it, hitting a second wind of energy, but are met with two hulking figures blocking them from entry.

Ed looks up at Scar and Hohenheim and thinks, oh shit.

\---

Ed’s honestly not sure what would be more bothersome: having to fight his way through this village or being forced to sit for tea with his father.

As it is, he’s sitting tensely in the corner of a room while Catherine talks happily with his dad- he thinks she could smile less, Hohenheim isn’t that funny, after all. Ed crosses his arms – the room seems to darken as a shadow passes over them, the weak candlelight flickering – and Hohenheim finally glances over at him.

“Ah, Ms. Catherine, could we pick this up later? I believe my son and I need to have a long overdue conversation. I believe you’ve briefly been acquainted with Scar; he could show you around the area?” She looks to Ed for confirmation – not permission, but to make sure he’ll be okay left alone – and he offhandedly nods.

Hohenheim waits for her to leave before leaning towards Ed, smiling faintly. “It’s been a long time, Edward. How have you been?”

Ed sits back in his chair and scowls as intently as he can.

“Any news since the Promised Day? How’s Al?”

Ed doesn’t blink.

“How have things been without alchemy? I spent a lot of time out East, back in the day, there’s ways to apply your knowledge without that direct connection-”

“Could we not do this right now?” Ed finally breaks.

Hohenheim smiles, self-assuredly, and Ed wants to punch him. “Now we’re getting somewhere.”

Ed screeches, lunges towards him, and actually does punch him- to his surprise, Hohenheim takes it without fighting back. “What are you even doing here?”

“Well, that’s a complicated question. After all that went down on the Promised Day, I spent some time trying to figure out what to do next- I thought about just settling down next to your mother’s grave for one thing, letting everything catch up with me. I ended up here, where the remaining Ishvalans have gathered. I’ve been helping them rebuild, with what little I can do. Truth knows I’ve needed a break, but this had to be done.”

Hohenheim sighs heavily and Ed frowns at him, stepping back. “Why didn’t you take the chance to rest?”

He laughs sheepishly and shrugs. “I suppose I didn’t feel like I deserved it. I’ve taken so much from the people of this world – contributed to so much of their hardship, intentionally or not – and I felt that giving up without trying to make at least one thing right would be the most selfish thing I’ve ever done.” Something in Ed’s cold expression seems to falter, just long enough for his father to notice, and Hohenheim looks down. “I suppose it’s not fair to talk to you about my being selfish. I’m sure you were frustrated when I up and disappeared after everything happened?”

Ed studiously avoids even looking at where his father sits. “Al thought you were dead. I couldn’t have cared less, beyond his being upset about it.”

“I guess I deserve that,” Hohenheim offers. Ed doesn’t respond. “Look- after the Promised Day, I was out of power. All those souls got used up fighting Father. I’ve only got my own now, and it’s only got a year left, maybe. Every single one of those souls was selfless in the end, giving up their existence to help me win that fight; it’s the least I can do now to carry on that idea, for the little time I have.”

“Al would be angry if you died without saying goodbye,” Ed mutters petulantly.

Hohenheim laughs loudly and smiles fondly- Ed doesn’t think he used to smile ever, not even when he and Al were kids. “I’m sure he would be. Your companion, Ms. Catherine, seemed to mention you had a falling out. I’d hope you’ll let him know that I left for a reason? Both times?”

Hohenheim is as strong and imposing as ever, but there’s something pleading lying under the surface now. Ed can’t forgive him – he probably never will, all those scars still digging in from when he was a child – but he can respect what he’s doing now.

“I’ll let him know. And- and I don’t have power anymore, but I think I’ll stick around a while, if that’s alright. Help you rebuild, and all that.” Redeem himself for joining the State Alchemists even when he knew how much blood he’d spill, but Ed can’t say that- not when Al so recently condemned him for it and his own demons haven’t faded.

“I think that sounds like a great idea,” Hohenheim answers, and his eyes crinkle when he smiles.

\---

Ed’s trained himself to be a fighting machine since he was a child, but he’s not used to hard labor- he’s always had his alchemy to pick up the slack while he focused on close combat techniques. As it is, he’s panting heavily while trying to help hoist a canvas roof over a newly erected home.

It doesn’t help that he’s working with Scar and might be a few feet too short to lift it up, but if anyone comments Ed will show them how hard he can still punch without alchemy.

They finally lift it up, covering the home, then Scar quietly directs him over to the next open patch of land, each of them carrying a bucket of water and mud- there’s not a lot of resources this deep in the desert, and Scar’s had to create what few building tools they have.

Ed silently looks away each time Scar pulls oxygen and hydrogen out of the air to make more water, carefully ignores how Hohenheim almost certainly trained him on something more than just basic creation and destruction. At least they’re building the houses by hand, something that Ed can actually help with.

They start raising the structure, building it muddy brick by brick, and Ed feels content in Scar’s silent presence- he’s not usually this comfortable with this much quiet. It’s peaceful.

They get done building the foundational structure of the walls before Scar gruffly calls it a day, telling Ed that they’ll have to wait for it to harden before continuing. Ed looks at the progress they’ve made – he and Scar put roofs on three houses and built the base of one, Catherine and Hohenheim built the bases of two, and there’s nearly a dozen Ishvalans doing even more – and realizes this is the most he’s done for someone since long before the Promised Day, back when he was called the People’s Alchemist and Amestris’s civilians needed him.

Ed has been hurt and damaged by the loss of his alchemy, but he’s not broken by it. There’s still a future for him to try and find, whether it’s through teaching or research or going East like his dad mentioned. He can keep helping people, the thing that made his alchemic talent feel the most important, and return home better.

Scar invites him into one of the houses for dinner, and Ed laughs along with the children who crowd around him, asking for stories. He tells them some of his favorite accomplishments as an alchemist, all the way back to defeating corruption in Youswell, and finishes by explaining his first feat of creativity: putting together a tiny bird. He walks Scar through the motions and knowledge, and grins as the children cheer at the finished – if not lopsided – product.

He’ll be okay sticking around a while longer, to help the Ishvalans build a new home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know what you think! comments/kudos are always appreciated
> 
> have a great day and a happy new years!


	3. Chapter 3

Trouble finds them – it’s never far behind Ed, even these days – and their peaceful days in Ishval are brought to a brutal end.

They’re being attacked by a group of rogue militants who had been loyal to Bradley, a mixed collection of soldiers and just a few alchemists, and they tear apart the start of the society they had been trying to build.

The moment there was a sign of trouble, Hohenheim and Catherine both pulled Ed between them in a desperate bid to keep him safe- there’s a day that he would’ve done the same for someone else, back when his automail arm was an asset rather than a liability and he could use his alchemy and creativity to turn the tide of any fight, but now he’s the one considered the weakest link and he’s getting pissed. There’s something to be said for his notoriety, but it’s liable to make things worse: the already gruesome scene could be made worse by the sight of the Fullmetal Alchemist, famous for his role in defeating Bradley and desertion of the military. Still, it’s not Ed’s way to hide from a fight.

He surveys the area around them, the structures they’d spent weeks toiling over being reduced to sand by horrifically grinning alchemists with some ready-made arrays, ragtag soldiers still wearing their blues wielding massive guns and turning them towards anyone who steps out of line.

All of their warriors were slaughtered years ago during the genocide and the remnants of Ishval gathered here are not fighters- they’re tough and wise, having witnessed horrors greater than anyone ever should, but they’re not fighters. There are no alchemists here but Hohenheim and Scar to turn the tide of battle, and those two are easily kept at bay by the soldiers pointing weapons at the more helpless Ishvalans present. Both of them are too weak to do the damage necessary- Hohenheim has grown old, over the past year, and Scar has not fully recovered from his fight with Bradley.

The remnants of Bradley’s regime finally recognize Hohenheim and Catherine uses her impossible strength to keep Ed pressed to her, hand pressed hard over his eyes as she struggles to keep him from following his dad- she doesn’t want him to see whatever happens.

After writhing furiously in her arms, he squirms enough that he manages to get his eyes on Hohenheim, just in time these soldiers firing a bullet into his chest at point-blank range.

Catherine’s arms loosen in shock, for just a moment, but it’s enough for Ed to break free and run to his dad. His breath is coming in fast, wheezing and clenching at his chest, and Hohenheim is breathing heavily too.

“N-no,” Edward says brokenly, ignoring the glares of the soldiers around him- it feels like time has slowed, has stopped for just the two of them. He looks up and sees the cold eyes of these murderers frozen as they glare towards him, sees Cat stopped with terror in her eyes and hands stretched towards him, Scar staring at him in silent resignation and regret. “I just got you back, Dad, I can’t-”

Hohenheim grasps Ed’s hand and smiles weakly, blood trailing out of his mouth. “It’s okay, Edward.”

But it’s not okay- Ed can practically feel the life draining out of Hohenheim, can tell that whatever bit of sacrificed souls that had been powering this Philosopher’s Stone has finally run dry, after thousands of years.

The moment is passing – whatever time these souls had granted them will be over soon, he can feel them practically screaming at him, telling him to do something while he’s got the chance – and Ed can see the worry in Hohenheim’s eyes as he glances towards the scattered Ishvalans, preparing for death.

“Ed-Edward,” he gasps, clinging to Ed’s hand ever tighter. “Help them, please.”

He feels rather than sees when time restarts and things start moving around them – Cat cries out for him, the last remnants of a nation are holding onto whatever hope of survival they can grasp, a soldier grabs the back of his shirt and tries to yank him away from his dying dad – and Edward screams, a raw and guttural thing.

Tears are streaming down his face and he’s terrified but the only thing he can seem to think is what will Al do if he lets their father die in vain, if he leaves him alone?

He grips tightly onto Hohenheim’s shirt and knows that he has to do something – but he’s useless without his alchemy – because these people are good, and he won’t let himself be connected to another total annihilation of a culture. He is one of the last pieces of Xerxes and he is burdened with the responsibility to protect the world from those same mistakes. He can do this.

His dad is the most powerful alchemist to ever live, but he was never human- Ed’s not really human, either. Hohenheim is a living Philosopher’s Stone, even weak as he is now, and the whole purpose of the stone is to circumvent the rules of the gate. For better or for worse, Ed is half Philosopher’s Stone- he was born to be an exception, rather than a rule.

It’s just like in Briggs, when he broke down his existence to a stone powered by a single soul, and he can see into Hohenheim, just like he did when he broke apart Pride.

It’s fighting him, it hurts to do this, but he forges forward and slams his hands into the Philosopher’s Stone that is his father, and pictures the metal guns in the soldier’s hands warping into something useless. He goes further and weakens the sand beneath these destructive alchemist’s feet, sinking them to their shoulders and trapping them so they can destroy nothing more. He grins, drinking in this power he’d thought was lost forever, and reconstructs the buildings they’d spent weeks on in mere seconds, building them tall and strong and beautiful. It feels so good and he looks up finally, to survey what he’s done, and he realizes his surroundings are—

-shining, all-encompassing white.

His pulse quickens and he spins around to see Truth’s twisted grin, a glowing silhouette made humanoid by Ed’s missing arm and leg, and Hohenheim’s gone.

“Hello, Edward Elric,” Truth drawls, their mouth stretching wide in an imitation of a smile. “Fancy meeting you, again. It’s funny- I’d thought we’d agreed there’d be no more of these visits.”

“I,” Ed starts, immediately panicked. He just reneged on an agreement with a god, and Truth has never cared about intention- he might be leaving Al alone, despite his greatest efforts. “I had to help them, my dad-”

Truth laughs, cutting him off. “I didn’t say I was mad about it. I like seeing you- you’re interesting. If you’re smart enough to perform alchemy without a gate, who am I to stop you?”

Ed takes a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself now that there doesn’t seem to be any immediate danger anymore. It doesn’t quite work. “Then…why am I here? I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Well, you did go back on our deal,” Truth drawls, stepping towards him- stepping away from Ed’s gate, covered in ancient words and thick, heavy chains. “Human transmutation or not, that warrants a conversation, doesn’t it?”

“I’m sorry?” Ed manages, trying to push through his underlying panic at being trapped back here. “Does-does this mean I have my alchemy back for good?”

The idea makes his breath quicken- it’ll mean an end to his journey, a reason to return to his loved ones. A reason to return to Al. He could return to Central, see Mustang and Hawkeye and Madame Christmas, talk to Teacher and Winry, eat with Gracia and Major Armstrong. He could rest, having accomplished something worthwhile.

Truth’s mouth stretches terrifyingly wild, splitting at the edges of their face, and they lean towards him conspiratorially. “No.”

“What-” Ed starts, stepping back. “Why would you bring me here, then?”

“Edward Elric, you are a fascinating person,” they say quietly, staring at him with their faceless gaze. “Did you know that not one person in history has survived coming to me five separate times? You’ve transmuted your mother, your brother’s soul, you were brought here through Gluttony’s stomach and then you returned – willingly, mind you – another time to restore your brother. Do you know how impressive that is?”  
  


“But why am I here now?” Ed asks.

Truth goes on like they hadn’t heard him. “There are very few interesting things in the world, when you’ve lived as long as I have. Hohenheim and the Dwarf in the Flask were fascinating for a while, to be fair, but it was all so elementary- a broken man searching for a family, a soulless creature striving to become something greater. And now that’ll be over, in just a moment, when your dear ol’ Dad dies.”

Ed flinches, but the Truth forges onward, brutal as ever.

“But you and your Brother? Now, that’s new!” They exclaim suddenly, clapping their hands together- the sound echoes through the expanse surrounding them, and Ed struggles to hide his shudder. “Two children, born the last survivors of a long-dead race, carrying the blood of those long-lost souls? But that on its own couldn’t have been that great- being half Philosopher’s Stone will only get you so far. What makes you really special – you, Edward, you in particular – is who you’ve chosen to become.”

“Chosen to become?” Ed echoes, uncertain of where this was going. Truth had met both him and Al, he couldn’t understand why they’d develop a focus on him.

“That’s it, right there!” Truth bursts out, stepping ever-closer. “You are unique and you can’t even see it- you refuse to! You’ve made it here and back, five times, because you want to help others- you’ve dedicated your whole life to protecting the people around you, at the expense of yourself! It’s fascinating.”

Ed bristles and glares at Truth. “It’s my job to protect them, it’s my fault that things get so bad-”

Truth bursts out laughing and it’s unhinged. “You were a child when your father left and your mother died. You’re a child now. How could you ever think this was your fault?” Ed opens his mouth to reply, but Truth keeps going, ignoring him. “You are perhaps the most human person I’ve ever encountered, but you’re barely even one! What is the rest of the world doing, when they let you – a child – fight their battles like this?”

“You…sound like you’re rather attached to me,” Ed hedges nervously. In all his research, in talking to Teacher and Al and Hohenheim, he’s never heard of the Truth even once engaging in an actual conversation- in taking an interest in anyone.

“Of course I am!” Truth bursts out. “I have spent all of eternity as a god, alone in this void, only visited by reckless and corrupt fools, and then there’s you- and you just keep coming back. You are the first interesting thing in millennia.”

Ed’s frozen where he stands, but he does his best to think of something – anything – to say to that. “Are you going to let me go back?”

Truth steps closer again – and Ed tries to step back, but the void seems to be shrinking and Truth manages to throw their arm over his shoulder, pulling him close. “Yes, I am, Edward Elric. The truth is, I want you to be happy.”

Ed blinks slowly and he leans away from where Truth leans on him. “You- you what?”

“I want you to be happy, and I can’t figure out how to do that,” Truth says carefully. “I had hoped that you giving up your alchemy would help you find a new purpose, even if that meant giving you up. But I see now that wasn’t the case.”

“Giving me up?” Ed questions, wary. “Were you planning to keep me?”

Truth looks up towards him and smiles. “Eventually, yes. You’re not human, Edward Elric. You won’t be able to move on in the same way.”

“Oh my,” he murmurs, then shakes his head. “Is Al-?”

“No,” Truth answers. “You’ve never forgotten about your brother, have you? He’s more successful, in your petty mortal realm, but he’s holding you back from finding more worth somewhere else. Yes, I think I see it now- your purpose is too tied up in your brother. You won’t be able to find solace anywhere else, will you?”

“No, you’re wrong,” Ed bites back angrily. “Al helps me- he makes me better. I wouldn’t have been able to do half this stuff without him by my side-”

“But you can do it now, can’t you?” Truth’s smile grows ever wider, and Ed can’t even try to hold back his shudder now. “You’ve been on your own, now. You’ve paid your debts to your brother, even moreover. And now I think I know how I can help you.”

There’s a growing sense of dread pooling in Ed’s gut and he tries to get Truth off of him, but their grip has grown unbreakable. “What do you mean?” He asks weakly.

“The only way to give you a better future,” Truth begins, standing right in front of Ed’s face, “is to take away what ties you down to your past.”

“No, wait!” Ed tries to say, but Truth grabs his face with both hands and holds him tightly.

“Goodbye for now, Edward Elric. I’ll see you later.”

Ed wakes up, surrounded by chaos and draped over a dying man. He looks around frantically, off-kilter from being thrown between reality and the gates like this, and searches for a bit of familiarity. He can see Cat running towards him, throwing down the soldiers between them, and Scar is weeping openly as he takes in the rebuilt nation and weaponless soldiers.

The man tugs on his hands weakly and smiles softly up at him – it’s full of love and genuine feeling, unlike Truth’s – then speaks. “Thank you, Edward, for giving these souls a final purpose.” Ed watches frozen as the man breathes his last, then is torn away as Cat finally reaches him.

“Oh, Ed, I’m so sorry- are you alright? You were amazing!” She cries out, hugging him closely. “How did you do that?”

“The alchemy?” Ed asks, and she nods. “I’m not sure. I think I got thrown back into the Gate, with Truth, but I can’t remember anything they said to me.” He stares at his hands, uncertain.

She looks down, past him towards the man lying at their feet, and she gasps. “Ed, is he-?”

“Yeah, he’s dead,” Ed mumbles, all the adrenaline from using alchemy and fighting suddenly gone.

She pulls them down next to him, and silently closes the man’s golden eyes. She looks back up at him, and he’s surprised to see that her eyes are full of tears. “If you need to talk about it, I can-”

Ed frowns at her- this isn’t the first time he’s watched someone die. “Why would I need to talk about it?”

“Ed,” she begins, searching his eyes cautiously. “I know you had a tense relationship with your dad, and I don’t really know any of the details, but don’t you want to-”

“My dad? He left when I was a child, too early for me to remember him. I don’t know any of my family,” Ed says numbly.

Cat stares at him with surprise and unfiltered horror, then pulls him back into a close hug. “Oh, god Ed, what happened to you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> final chapter for this section, now moving into the next part !! any ideas for what they're doing/where they're going next? also, truth is very cool, i like their vibe
> 
> hopefully the next update won't take forever again :)
> 
> comments and kudos are appreciated!

**Author's Note:**

> does anyone remember who Catherine is? she's a pretty minor character
> 
> any ideas as to who ed will be running into next?
> 
> go ahead and leave comments/kudos if you like this, it means a lot!
> 
> have a great day :)


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